How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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