He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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