To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
