Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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