also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
