Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
