He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
