Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
