Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I intend to get homeless drunk
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
MIDGETS
????
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
