WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
