Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
