Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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