And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
