i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
