no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pants are for mortals
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
