Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
