dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
