I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
