I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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