I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
