You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
