dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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