Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
