yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
