She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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