So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
