i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
soo... how was my night?
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