I just pynch a tree in the face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
