Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
