I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
