the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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