This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
