Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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