Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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