when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
no, he came in my armpit
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
