jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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