you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize