why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I am morally bankrupt
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
