i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize