my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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