you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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