i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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