oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That accounts for only three of the penises
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
