Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's blow job season.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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