The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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