I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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