If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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