I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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