You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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