Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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