Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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