he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
