i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
