Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
love makes seman taste better
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize