is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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