covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
