paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
