o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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