First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
