He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
